


A Boner to Save Lives

by ConfessionForAnotherTime



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Bets & Wagers, Boners, Discussion of masturbation, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-02 09:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5242490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConfessionForAnotherTime/pseuds/ConfessionForAnotherTime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grif and Simmons make a bet over something Grif saw. RvB13 finale spoilers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Boner to Save Lives

“Simmons! Simmons! I swear, I did not imagine it this time. I’ve been looking at these computer monitors and all of them have talked about ‘A Boner to Save Lives!’ Do you have any idea how amazing that is?” Grif pointed back to the monitor, hefting the Grifshot back onto his back now that the battle in the trophy room was over. Save some minor scrapes… and Blue team losing Epsilon, very few physical injuries hindered them. Gathering up what was left of their team, Grif and Simmons took up the rear with Sarge and Wash taking the lead.

“Simmons. I swear to you, it said boner. Not honor or bonnet or anything like that. Honest to fucking god, it said boner.” Grif stared at Simmons, even if some of the effect was lost with the placement of their helmets. Simmons stared down at Grif.

“I just want you to know, that overall, I believe you, but I also highly doubt that a news story was running a ticker ad at the bottom of the screen about boners in the middle of us fighting Hargrove’s forces. I mean really Grif.” Simmons shook his head, pointing them in the direction that the others had already gone. “I know you love boners---”

“Hey, you love them too. I’ve seen the way you look at me.” Grif waggled his eyebrows in the safety of his helmet as Simmons ran down the hallway, and he followed behind at a leisurely walk.

“--yes well, what I was _trying_ to say is that, while I know you love boners, you have to stop seeing them in everything. You’re going to become boner-disappointed after a while when your boner for boners is just downgraded into a sad, floppy dick.” Simmons laughed at his own joke, stopping in the middle of the hallway to wait for Grif. He was still trailing behind, having cited wanting to look through trashcans for loot or something. “You do realize this isn’t pokemon and there was one item in one trash can, once.”

“You know what, that great ball was important and I will not give up on the idea that trash cans hold hidden treasures in them if you look hard enough.” Grif folded his arms and stopped, staring Simmons down.

“Grif we don’t have time for this. Also, a half-eaten sandwich is not a treasure. Kinda like you didn’t see ‘boner’ on the news monitor.” Simmons could see the others rounding the corner and leaving them behind. When he turned back, Grif was rifling through another trashcan in an attempt to find something edible. “Grif!”

“What! Okay, it was still in the wrapper. You can’t get mad at me like you did last time.” Grif dropped the half eaten sandwich back into the garbage can, turning back to Simmons like he hadn’t just gone diving in the dumpster for food. “The thing you aren’t getting though is that the screen said boner. Clear as day. ‘A Boner to Save Lives.’ I swear.”

“What are you willing to swear on that? You can’t just say you swear. You have to add something to it to give it some weight or else it’s just you swearing about something and---” Simmons rambled on and Grif put his hands up.

“Okay okay. Shit. Calm down. Well, I swear on the next pint of ice cream when we get back.” Grif held his hands up in offering, thinking it would be enough to sway his partner into his line of thinking.

“Dude, we don’t even know the next time we are going to see ice cream. We don’t even know if we’re going home. All I know is that if you swear to me on _ice cream_ of all things, it is more likely to expire before we ever see it. I need something closer. Something tangible.” Simmons grabbed Grif’s arm, pulling him along. The others had gotten stuck at an elevator down to the motor pool. They were looking for a ship to get all of them out of there after taking down Hargrove’s forces, and really, they all needed some rest after all of this.

“Are the two of you going to actually come with us or are we going to have to drag you along?” Wash called back to the pair, snorting when he saw Simmons pulling Grif after him at this point.

“We know Simmons has horrible taste if he’s picked _you_ , but if you two love birds don’t hurry it up, we’re gonna just leave ya.” Sarge waved at them to come on. He cast a glance over at Tucker who still hadn’t said anything since they had left the trophy room.

“Be quiet! We’re having a moment!” Grif shot back, glaring through his visor.

“Are we really having a moment?” Simmons asked, leaning down to Grif even if he didn’t need to, switching to their private communication channel. “If we’re having a moment, we shouldn’t be having it right in front of everyone. Should we?”

“Shh. Fine. How about this: if it says ‘A Boner to Save Lives’ on that ticker screen, I will finally admit to you how I feel about you, right here and now. I am so confident in this.” Grif stared up at him, hands on his hips. “Do you have any conditions?”

Simmons fidgeted nervously. “Don’t say things like that with everyone watching?” Simmons thought for a moment. “Okay, then if it doesn’t say that, you take me out to dinner.” Simmons looked back at the others waiting for them. Wash waved back at them to follow along. “I mean, I suppose I get something good out of it either way and if it does say ‘A Boner to Save Lives’, then you have this source of entertainment for quite some time.” Grif held out his hand to agree to the terms and pointed up to one of the monitors on the short walk to the elevator. The pair waited for a few minutes and eventually _A Boner to Save Lives_ scrolls across the screen, followed by a short blurb about how masturbation can help lengthen your life by increasing happiness levels as well as stimulating the prostate in men to help lessen the possibility of cancer. Grif pointed at the screen.

“Ha! Told you! Look at that! A Boner to Save Lives!” Grif pointed at the screen, looking back at Simmons. He could feel the full body blush coming from his partner just by standing in close proximity.

“Can… we wait on the rest of our wager for when we get back to base?” SImmons asked nervously.

“Sure.” Grif grabbed Simmons’ hand, interlocking their fingers. “I’m pretty sure you already know what I‘m going to say just based on how stiffly you’re walking.”

\---

Grif pulled Simmons into their shared bunk, setting his Grifshot off to the side of the room. He didn’t give Simmons a chance to go climb up onto the top bunk this time, grabbing his face and pulling him down for a kiss. Having long discarded their helmets, tossing them to the floor, the pair had been helping each other pull the armor plating off when Grif took his chance. Finally pulling him in, Grif was able to finally show Simmons as opposed to just tell him how he’d felt for the last several years. Simmons made a little noise of surprise, kissing Grif back.

“What the hell was that? How have you slept below me for this long and not done that?” Simmons’ small rant went on until Grif pulled him down to kiss him again, softer this time. He opened his mouth a little, sliding his tongue over Simmons’ lips, delighting when Simmons reciprocated. The kiss deepened until the two of them pulled back, almost out of breath.

“Does that answer how I feel about you Simmons?” Grif pulled him over onto his bunk, shoving the snack cake wrappers and drink containers off onto the floor. Simmons winced, soon ignoring it when Grif pulled him in to cuddle.

“I think it does. Does this mean no dinner?” Simmons asked, nuzzling his nose against Grif’s neck.

“Hell no! We’re going to dinner. I love you. I mean, I love food.”

 


End file.
